The Family

This week’s readings have been focused on the family and finding a balance.  That is my number one concern facing this chance to enter the business world.  My world has always revolved around my family.  Every moment of every day is consumed with meeting their needs.  Can I change that? Taking two classes a semester, year round, and working part-time have been challenging. And then there is my church calling, and the matter of supporting my husband in his.  I still feel that I need to do everything I have always done, while adding these additional items to my schedule.  Jan Newman, who served as mission president here in our area, said it best:  “Don’t ever be too busy to accept a calling.  When you need the Lord’s help, He will know where your heart is.”  My purpose is to serve the Lord and build the kingdom of God.  Can I stay focused on that and still enter the work force?

Steve Blank said there needed to be some family rules set beforehand.   We are trying to have family scripture study every day, and that is something I am not willing to compromise on.  Having dinner together as much as possible is important too.  But as the kids get involved in various events at the high school, their time outside of class is mostly taken.  I like to spend time with the family on the weekends, but those are often filled with competitions locally and a few hours away.  So where is the balance?  We try to support each other as much as possible.  But the kids realize we can’t be to every meet and every competition or game.  I also try to do my homework and extra things while they are at school so it doesn’t take away from my family time.  As the kids get older and begin to move out and on with their lives, I want to be ready and able to find my niche.  I want to have an idea of what my strengths are so I can focus on that. 

I think this is what I am learning the most in this whole process of school.  Who I really am, what I have to offer, and being ready and willing to do what the Lord asks me to do.  For now, I was guided to participate in this educational opportunity.  I will “Carry On”, moving forward, as long as the Lord needs me to do this.

Being a mom is like being an entrepreneur…

(Taken from Jeff Sandefer’s “Are Successful Entrepreneurs Born or Made?”)

If an entrepreneur is about taking risks, and understanding there will costs and hopefully, but not always benefits, the day I became a mom was one of the biggest entrepreneurial moves I have made.  I didn’t have a lot of industry expertise.  I had seen it done before, by countless others who were successful, but I had no idea what all was involved.  I had no idea the ups and downs I would be taken through.  I had to take one day at a time.  There have been countless trial and error experiences in making and delivering products – like meals, lessons or even making clothes.  Through this process, I have created a database of knowledge that would be impossible to copy or replicate in any other way.  And I continue to grow and learn each and every day.

As a mom, I have had to use good business judgement in many different areas…scheduling, financing, chaperoning, nursing, counseling, teaching, traveling, driving, etc.  Although not trained in every discipline, I have, out of necessity, become a quick leaner.  Every day I have to make decisions, many times at the spur of the moment, taking one success and even mistake at a time.  I have a robust inventory of small lessons about human nature – at various ages and development that I can draw from and share with others. 

The bonds I have formed as I have worked with my children each and every day, from the moment they were born, have been very rewarding.  I have taught them by example to keep their promises, to act kindly, to show character especially when times are tough, to do the right thing – even if others are not, to be honest, to go the extra mile.  Each of these experiences are deposited in my “eternal family” account which will hopefully keep growing, allowing me the greatest of all rewards.  Because in the end, the real reward is who we have worked with and grown to love and serve.

The secret to being successful is knowing I must stay the course, or “Carry On” as my grandparents used to say.  Perseverance through this never-ending process, showing up day after day, month after month, year after year.  When the going gets tough, I don’t give up.  I enjoy the good and hold onto those feelings in times of trial.  Success isn’t a destination, it’s a journey taken one determined step at a time in a way that builds lifelong treasures – of which my family is the greatest.  

The Little Things are Important

(taken from a BYU Devotional address by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, Oct 26, 1986)

We are all blessed with the exact same number of minutes each day.  What we do with those minutes – how we spend them or manage them – can make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. 

We can bless ourselves if we use our minutes to take care of ourselves.  We can care for our bodies – through diet and exercise – which will give us the strength and energy we need to keep up with our daily routines as well as being able to serve others.  When we feel healthy, our spirits are stronger and we have an increased positive outlook on life, feeling better able to succeed.

When we have our lives in somewhat of an order, we are better prepared to serve others.  Little things such as simple courtesies – a smile, a compliment, a positive comment, or word of encouragement – can brighten someone else’s life.  Such a small act on our part - hardly takes any effort - yet can make a world of difference to another person. 

When we learn to be patient and longsuffering, we can better deal with others whether through work, school, church, or in our community.  These are two traits that I can definitely improve on.  Perhaps taking time to study them and see how Christ emulated these traits would better help me to acquire them. 

When we serve others, we are truly serving God (Mosiah 2:17).  “When we are engaged in the service of our fellowmen, not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective.  When we think more about others, there is less time to be concerned with ourselves…God does notice us, and He watches over us.  But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.  Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom.”  (President Spencer W. Kimball, as quoted by Elder Wirthlin)  Have I noticed someone in need?  Have I used my allotment of minutes to help someone in need? 

We all have potential.  God blessed us with the skills and talents we needed to succeed.  While some of those skills may seem little or small, through Christ, we can make those into strengths.  As we develop those strengths, we will have less of a desire to do wrong.  It will cause us to “pray more intently…be a little forgiving of our neighbor’s faults…love more and criticize less.”  We need to do all we can to make these spiritual qualities part of us. 

Every day we are blessed with little opportunities to overcome our weaknesses and “increase our spiritual strength”.  Things that seem little truly can become big things that can strengthen us and help us to become the person we are capable of becoming.  What will we do with the minutes we have been blessed with today? 

True Blue, Through and Through

taken from a BYU-I devotional by Sheri L. Dew on March 16, 2004

"True to yourself, meaning who you are as a son or daughter of God, and who you are in the process of becoming.  True to others, meaning that you do what you say you will do.  And true to God, meaning that you practice what you preach and that you are doing what you covenanted to do here in mortality."

I think integrity begins with being true to God.  If I have the desire and the understanding of who God is, and what His relationship to me is, then it shouldn't be a question of being true to God.  He knows me and loves me and wants me to be the best I can be.  He is even willing to help me if I do the things He asks of me.  Living up to that will automatically keep me true to myself and others.  Likes Sister Dew says, "Integrity is the foundational virtue upon which all other virtues are dependant."   

I think we live in a world where many people say or do things that they think we want to hear or see.  It can be hurtful to hear someone say one thing, and then turn around and tell someone else another thing.  Lack of trust can truly hurt a relationship.  And the opposite of that is being able to count on someone when they say they will do something.  I am not perfect at this, but I had a young women's leader growing up that taught us that "trying is lying", meaning that to say "you will try" is a copout.  We should either commit or not.  While I believe there is some gray areas where this is concerned, I saw her point.  By saying I will do something, I have made a commitment.  And to be true to my word, I will do it.  It may not be my best, or I may fail, but I will do it because I said I would do it.

Sister Dew gave 7 suggestions to help us become men and women of integrity:

1. Decide today, once and for all, and at all cost, that you will be worthy of trust - from family and friends, colleagues, and most importantly, the Lord.
2. Have faith that the Lord can and will help you, and then diligently seek His help - just like Nephi trusted that the Lord would instruct him in building a ship or hunting with a broken bow, he never doubted the Lord would help him. 
3. Make covenants and keep them - do what you say you will do, and being precisely and completely true to those covenants.
4. Stand up for what you believe and what you know is right - at every opportunity to do so.  True happiness comes only when you are living up to who you are.
5. Expect your integrity to be challenged - Satan won't tempt you just once.  You don't really know what you believe until your beliefs are tested.  In every trial comes a moment of truth when you must decide what you really believe.  Every time we choose to obey, our integrity is fortified.
6. Don't give up - this is a lifelong process.  Keep the commandments with exactness, seize the opportunity to repent and ask for forgiveness from the Lord and others.
7. Covenant - or perhaps I should say, renew your covenant - with our Father and His Son to do what you came here to do - that is the ultimate expression of our integrity.

It would do me well to evaluate myself on a regular basis.  She even suggests doing a trial for the next 30 days, evaluating ourselves each night to see how we did that day.  When I find areas I can improve, I can trust that the Lord will help me change.  "He has the power to make [me] better than [I] have ever been."  What an amazing blessing that is for me if I can trust the Lord, and trust myself to keep my integrity and never compromise it.

Personal Code of Conduct

I will never:

• Back down from those things I know to be true.
• Compromise my integrity.
• Cheat in my school work.

I will always:

• Conduct myself with integrity in all aspects of my life:  family, church, job, community.
• Use my talents to help build the kingdom of God.
• Strive to keep the commandments with exactness.

My Gifts

Recognizing my own gifts is something I have pondered for a while.  I don't like to pat myself on the back.  I don't like attention or praise.  But I do want to know what the Lord has blessed me with.  By knowing, I will better be able to be the person He wants and needs me to be. 

I believe that we can be blessed with multiple gifts, but we must work on what we have and continue to improve them.  Then we may be fortunate to be blessed with more.  So what do I see as my gifts?

I believe that I love to serve and sacrifice to help other people.  I think that is what being a mom is.  It is a gift that enables moms to do what they do, each and every day.  It is not something I get praised for.  It is something that I am always working on.  It is something that can bless me and my family.

Extending that beyond me and my family, I can serve others.  Whether through my callings or just being aware of what is going on around me, I can use these gifts to help others.  I believe I can assess a situation, see a need and then go to work - not always waiting to be asked.  Whether it is putting chairs away after a band concert, or washing the dishes after an activity or dinner at someone's house, or helping a young mother with small children at the store or in church.  I feel worthy and valuable if I can make a difference for someone else.

The last month I have been working twice as many hours to help out a few teachers who were left suddenly without their aide.  This has required a lot of time and energy on my part.  I quickly assessed what the teacher needed, and then jumped in.  Each and every day I am there, I work hard.  When I go home, I am exhausted.  But I always feel like I have made a difference that day.  Whether for the teacher in providing another set of hands and eyes, or for the children in being that extra set of ears to listen.  I feel a sense of fulfillment when I come home each day. 

My Grandma Priday was an excellent example of service and sacrifice.  Even into her 90's she would take a meal to a new mom, make bread for the new family that moved in, or simply held a small child so a mother could listen.  She was the ultimate servant of the Lord, always serving and doing so in a loving way.  Although she passed away 5 years ago, I still hear from people who have make the connection that she brought them dinner or visited them in a time of need.  Her influence is still felt today.  I hope that as I develop those gifts of mine, I can make a difference for someone like she did for so many.

Childhood Dreams

"A dream is a wish your heart makes" says the familiar Disney tune from Cinderella.  What is the importance of dreaming?  Does it make us hope for things that will never happen?  Or does it give us something to shoot for, to work towards? 

Randy Pausch, a Professor from Carnegie Mellon, said in his "Last Lecture", which was just weeks before his death from Pancreatic Cancer that he had no regrets.  He was happy.  He had achieved so many of his goals.  Randy realized at a young age what his dreams were, and then figured out how to make them happen.  It wasn't easy.  He had to work hard and face challenges.  But when faced with a challenge, or as he called it, a brick wall, he recognized that "brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want things.  The walls stop people who don't want it badly enough."  His parents recognized his creativity and encouraged it.  They let him be the "master of his own domain". 

Where do I want to be?  What do I want to do?  Identifying my dreams will guide me as I set goals in my life.  If I want to be a doctor, then I need to study hard.  If I want to be a vet, then I need to be comfortable around animals.  I need to set smaller checkpoints to make sure I am headed in the right direction.  Dreams can come true.  They may not be in the way we originally thought.  There is a feeling of achievement when reaching each goal, along with the sense of fulfillment and pride in having done something hard. 

The one dream I had as a little girl was to be a mom...to be married in the temple to a wonderful man and to be a great mom to wonderful children.  I had to set goals and steps along the way to make sure I stayed on track.  I had to keep myself worthy.  I had to learn how to take care of small children.  I had to learn how to cook and keep a home.  I had to have that desire to make the sacrifices that would be asked of me. 

I believe that my dream has come true, but not without my own brick walls.  And there  are still brick walls I will have to face.  My husband is wonderful and I did get married in the temple.  But we have our challenges.  And let's face it.  Being a mom is not always lollipops and rainbows.  We have our cloudy and stormy days there too.  But I must always hope for and work towards being the best mom I can be.  If I can keep my eye fixed on that, then each and every day, my dream can come true.  I can become the person I dreamed of.