Last Lecture

There are many things I have learned throughout my life.  This last few months have required a lot of soul searching and pondering over who I am and where I am going. There are no life-shattering truths that I learned, but many little lessons that can make be a better person. Some of the key lessons I am still learning that are worth sharing are:

•        We must take care of ourselves so we are capable of helping other people.  Our health – physically, mentally, spiritually – cannot be neglected.  We cannot help fill other’s baskets if ours is empty.  Be mindful of the choices we are making and the effects they will have now and in the long run.  Create good habits now that can ensure you will be able to continue serving others.
•        Find your gifts/talents.  We are all blessed with talents that are meant to help bless the lives of others.  We need to find those talents and learn how to use them.  Turn to trusted friends and family members to help you find them.  A sweet experience was hearing from each of my siblings what they saw as my strengths.  Sometimes we don’t see our actions as talents because it comes without much effort.  Knowing what those gifts and talents are can give you a focus on what to improve. 
•        Remember why we are here on earth – to help build the kingdom of God.  Everything we do – even working to provide for our family – is working towards the eternal rewards the gospel has for us.  Be aware of those around you and do what you can.  Even a smile can lift someone’s day.
•       Be patient – with ourselves and others.  We are all on this journey together and we all make mistakes.  Give ourselves and others a break.  Learn from those mistakes.
•        Be a good friend.  Be the kind of person that lifts others.  Be the optimistic person that others can trust to encourage and make you want to be a better person.
•       Be the best you can be.  Whatever you are doing, do your best.  Whether it is collecting garbage around town or designing an advertising campaign, do your best work.  Even in your calling at church, give it your best.  Be the person that others can count on to do what is asked.
•       Enjoy every day. Everyday has something to be thankful for.  Note the highs, not just the lows.  Look around and see the many wonderful things around you.  Keep a journal to refer back to when overwhelmed by the lows.  Creating a habit of seeing the good not only changes our attitude, but it also changes how we treat others and how we approach the tasks before us.
•        Never be too busy not to notice those around you – especially your family.  Time flies by and we don’t know how long we will be together.  Take the opportunities given and help strengthen each other.  Build memories that can guide us through the rough times. 
•        Don’t get so caught up in the grind stone that you forget to enjoy the journey.  We are surrounded by a beautiful world created by the Master.  If we focus so much on the end result of our labors, we may miss the pure beauty that is everywhere.

Life is good.  Life is a blessing.  We are accountable for what we make of it.  Enjoy the journey.  Appreciate life – even the rough spots.  We chose to have this experience.  It is the little things each day that will guide us to the eternal rewards and get us to where we want to be - and we will still like ourselves when we get there.

Finding a Balance

After spending 2 weeks with family I have come to appreciate them even more.  My parents set such a good example of making family a priority.  Maybe it was growing up 15 miles from my dad’s parents.  They firmly believed that family came first and showed it in their words and actions.  My father was not an entrepreneur, but he worked hard to provide for our needs.  They supported us in our various activities while also teaching us responsibility and love for each other and the gospel.

The only thing missing from my visit to Utah was my parents.  They are currently serving a mission.  They are sacrificing these family moments to serve the Lord – another valuable lesson they taught.  But they were missed.  Right now we are only separated by miles, and I look forward to the time when we can all be together again.

In visiting with my brother, who recently started a new job, I learned a few things about priorities.  No matter how much you are being paid, no matter what perks the company offers, there is no happiness without balance.  He left a job that was too demanding of his every minute of every day, 7 days a week.  There are certain boundaries that need to be set.  What these boundaries are will be different for everybody.  The cost was too great for my brother, so he made the necessary changes.  He and his family are much happier and he is looking at this as an opportunity to expand his knowledge and increase his networking base and his experiences.

Part of our trip included a reunion of my mother-in-law’s siblings.  There were many moments of reflection and seeing the 150 + (counting just those that were present) that came just from grandma and grandpa was amazing.  They knew that family came first.  Throughout their jobs, they found how to include their kids and create many fond memories together. 

In the end, it won’t matter how much money I made if my kids don’t know who I am or if we don’t have memories and relationships to bind us.  So while I want to use my talents and skills to make a difference in the lives of others, I do not want to do it at the cost of losing my own family.  There must be a balance.  It is important to teach our children the value of hard work and setting goals, but families are important and those are the things we will be able to take with us when we leave this earth.  

What's a Business For?

Muhammad Yunus is one of the first people that stirred a great desire in me to do something that could make a difference to others.  He saw that making the world a better place for others is where the joy and fulfillment can be found.  I am excited that Sara Endline has made a successful business for herself in the candy industry, and she her encouragement for social responsibility and understanding among diverse cultures is making a difference. She also has great ideas on problem solving and being prepared to run the marathon.  But Muhammad…I want to be able to do something like that – something life changing for others.  He found joy in helping others with just a small donation.  I think an experience like that can truly show how much we take for granted.  I didn’t think twice about spending $27 on a pair of pants.  Being able to bless the lives of 42 people sounds so much more fulfilling.  We all do have some God given talents and skills, that if given the right opportunity, we could do something with.  Helping others recognize what their individual talents are, and helping them get to a place where they can turn and bless others is the ultimate goal in life for me. 

I have watched Trace grow and learn many things about himself over the last few months.  He is beginning the think outside of himself.  He is beginning to trust the inspiration and guidance he has access to.  It was not that long ago that certain choices he made led us through a period of great stress and frustration.  Trust is something that is so easily destroyed.  “Trust, too, is fragile.  Like a piece of china, once cracked it is never quite the same.”  (What’s a Business For, Charles Handy, p 3)  It is really hard when you lose trust in someone you love. 

In the world, I think there is a tendency to not trust many people.  Being a member of the church, I have quickly come to trust others, almost to a fault.  I don’t take the time to get to know others and experience things with them before making that judgement call.  On the other hand, who am I to judge?

“Truth seemed to easily sacrificed to expediency.” (Handy, p 3)  We have to trust our instincts at some point also.  So how do we find that balance?  I know there are several companies lately that have been penalized for standing up for something they believed in.  I respect those companies, and love that their integrity was strong enough.  Virtue and integrity are something that must be present if a company is to succeed for the duration.  It can affect their customers support and referrals.  People’s actions speak so much louder than their words.  If their actions do not stand for the principles they claim to have, they will not succeed.  Sooner or later, their actions will catch up to them. 

Charles Handy suggested that a business is simply “a group of people [who] get together and exist as an institution that we call a company so that they are able to accomplish something collectively that they could not accomplish separately – they make a contribution to society…[which] is fundamental.” (p 7-8)  If we can work with others who have the same values and principles that we have, we can be a much stronger force.  I see that even in service projects.  When 30 people come together to accomplish a task, and they work together for the common goal, they are able to accomplish more in a shorter amount of time, then freeing them up to turn and bless others.  I also think that those actions can inspire others to look around them and see who they can help.

“Business needs to take the lead in areas such as environmental and social sustainability instead of forever letting itself be pushed onto the defensive.” (Handy, p 7)  They need to consider more than themselves and their profits.  If they take the time to consider their employees, their customers, the work environment, etc, the group as a whole can be more effective.  The desire to work together increases and more success will be seen.

That also leads to another suggestion: “If a company takes seriously the idea of itself as a wealth-creating community with members rather than employees…” (p 6) they might find those members to have a greater interest in the success of the project at hand.  They can be acknowledged for their efforts and become more valuable as a team player.  How others are treated, in any situation, will greatly affect their efforts given.  Employees are not just the means for the business owner to become wealthy.

Both of these suggestions can be applied many life situations…callings, families, service opportunities.  We can be more successful and accomplish more if we work together and treat each other with respect.  We each have different talents and skills.  Let’s help each other successfully strengthen and support those talents and together, we can help make a difference in the world.

Happiness

Am I happy?  I believe that I am.  But I also look forward to the day when I could be happier.  When that day will come and what will make it be better than today I do not know.  Perhaps I am looking too far.

According the “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness: A Cautionary Tale” published by the Acton Foundation suggests, “You likely are as happy today as you ever will be.” (pg 2)  I do have many blessings and things to be thankful for.  I live in a free country.  My family has sufficient supplies/things to meet our needs.  My kids are healthy and happy.  We have a beautiful home to protect us.  What do I think I need to be happier? 

My dad gave a devotional address at BYU-H last fall about happiness.  He suggested 3 things to become happy.  The first is to open your eyes.  We are surrounded by many wonderful things.  My kids have the opportunity to attend school and get a quality education.  My husband has a job that allows him many freedoms and supports our family.  I have always been blessed with the opportunity to stay home with my kids.  Looking for the good things, and realizing how blessed we really are can cause us to be happy.  The second thing is to surround ourselves with happy people.  I have found this to have a profound effect on me lately.  I have been around a few people that are draining and negative, and difficult to be with.  I realized how much their attitudes and complaints were effecting me.  I have learned to continue to be a positive person around them, but to not spend too much time around that negativity.  I have also found strength surrounding myself with family members and friends who are positive.  My parents are always positive and encouraging in the counsel they give.  The prophet and the apostles are always happy and positive in their counsel as well.  The last thing my dad suggested was to show gratitude.  Showing gratitude to others, especially our family members, can create a feeling of happiness that can swell to all members of the family.  Showing gratitude to my Father in Heaven is also important.  When we show gratitude, we are acknowledging the happiness we feel.  And we then have the desire to share that happiness with others.

To be successful, I believe I need to be happy and keep a positive attitude.  Whether it is successfully finishing this class or successfully finishing my degree, successfully raising righteous children that qualify for the blessings of the temple, or successfully serving each and every day.  I will gain so much more if I do each of these things with a happy attitude.  

The Challenge to Become

(Elder Dallin H Oaks, October 2000 General Conference)

With current issues now challenging the world and causing much controversy, I need to know where I stand.  Now, more than ever, I need to be converted to the gospel.  But in addition to that, Elder Oaks suggested that I need even more.  I need to “become something.”

“Final judgement is not just an evaluation of the sum total of good and evil acts – what we have done.  It is an acknowledgment of the final effects of our acts and thoughts – what we have become.”

Heavenly Father knows of my divine potential.  He knows what I need to do to return to Him.  He knows who I am capable of becoming and who He needs me to be. The choices I make each day make a difference in who I become.  I can show others what I believe and what is important to me by my actions.  If I can understand what I believe and why, if I can allow the Atonement of Jesus Christ to change me, I can become who Heavenly Father needs me to become. 

All of the experience I have here on earth are to help me become.   They are opportunities for me grow and learn and become who Heavenly Father needs me to become.  Sometimes it is for my own growth and learning, and other times it is for someone else.  I need to allow myself to change and hopefully have “no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.”  (Mosiah 5:2)

I have seen that change as I serve in my calling as a mother or at church.  I find that I want to live up to what Heavenly Father knows I can do.  He believes I can do more, He knows where He needs me to be, and He knows that I can become what He needs me to become.

“We must not give up hope.  We must not stop striving.  We are children of God, and it is possible for us to become what our Heavenly Father would have us become.”

However Long and Hard the Road

From Elder Holland’s Devotional address on Jan 18, 1983

I have been very discouraged the past few weeks.   Things are getting harder and I have been feeling the pressures of keeping up with everything in all of my responsibilities.  I recognize this is a time of learning and growing for me.  And if it is to be worth it, then I will have to do some hard things.  Elder Holland said, “Nothing very valuable can come without significant sacrifice and effort and patience on our part.”  The challenges I feel I am faced against can either stop my progress or make me think about what needs to be done and how I can get it done.  My challenges are not that big compared to others.  I only need to stop focusing on myself and look around.  The early saints definitely had it rough.  I am not being asked to sacrifice my home and possibly lose some family members along the way.  I am not putting my life physically on the line in battle.  I have a home and have my family around me.  I have a part-time job that I love.  My husband has a job that provides sufficiently for our needs.  I have many blessings that I am truly grateful for.  “But in life’s most crucial and telling tasks, my plea is to stick with it, to persevere, to hang in and hang on.”

 

I don’t know where this road is taking me.  I don’t know what other challenges I am going to face.  But with patience and with God’s help, I can do my best.  I will keep trying.  I can’t give up when the going gets tough.  I will keep moving.  I will stay determined to see this through, no matter how slow the process.  “I will put my shoulder to the wheel and push along.”  I will continue to work towards reaching my goal.  “Every worthy task will require all that we can give to it.  The Lord requires the heart and a willing mind.”  I am willing and I trust that the Lord will help me and guide me to where He needs me to be.

In conclusion, Elder Holland said, “Take advantage of every opportunity to learn and grow.  Dream dreams and see visions.  Work toward their realization.  Wait patiently when you have no other choice.  Lean on your sword and rest a while, but get up and fight again.  Perhaps you will not see the full meaning of your effort in your own lifetime.  But your children will, or your children’s children will.”

Habit 1

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People  by Steven Covey

I read this book many years ago but I don’t remember any of it.  Maybe it was lack of life experience or immaturity.  I am in a much better place now, truly desiring to make some changes in my life and become a better disciple and beacon of light to those around me. These 7 Habits are based on “principles which are guidelines…that have been proven over time to have enduring, permanent value.” (Summaries.com p 2)  These principles represent values that are important to me.  I can learn how to use these habits to become a more effective person.  

A paradigm is the way we see and understand the world around us.  Before I can change anything, I need to check my perceptions or shift some of these paradigms.  I need to be aware of how my opinions are affecting my attitude towards others, towards change, or towards challenges.  These habits “are a new level of thinking – a paradigm shift based on a principle-centered, character-based inside-out approach to personal effectiveness.”  (p 2)

Trying to tackle all of these habits at the same time would not be productive.  I need to focus on one practice at a time, allowing each to truly become a habit.  I want these habits to help me find purpose in my life.  I want them to make long term changes.  By reading the full book, rather than the summary, I will be able to better understand how I can have each habit truly change me.

The first 3 habits deal with self-mastery or private victories and lay the foundation for the other habits.

Habit 1 – Be Proactive

Before I can change how I see or think about others, I need to understand how I see myself.  There are a few things I can control.  This introduces the principle of self-awareness.  What can I control?  First off, my thoughts; I have the ability to create a new reality; I know inside what is right and wrong; and I have the ability to act on my thoughts.  I can choose my response to any situation, but not the consequences that come with those choices.  I can choose to be reactive or proactive in every circumstance. “This is the true meaning of ‘response-ability’.” (p 3)  Being proactive means I think about my actions and thoughts and the effect they have on me and on others.  I need to be proactive in whatever situation I am in.  I need to learn to “control a situation from the inside out.” (p 3)  If I can learn to do this, even in the little everyday things, I can be a better leader.  I can have the confidence I need to move on to the next habit. 

This week, I will really focus on what paradigms need to be shifted.  Where can I change my perception into something more positive?  Where can I improve my attitude?  How is my perception of a situation effecting those around me?  What are my actions in response to different situations teaching my children?  I will post these questions where I can see them each morning, reminding me to be aware.  I will share my goals with Bill.  I will have him help hold me accountable to seeing this through.  Perhaps we can help each other.

The Family

This week’s readings have been focused on the family and finding a balance.  That is my number one concern facing this chance to enter the business world.  My world has always revolved around my family.  Every moment of every day is consumed with meeting their needs.  Can I change that? Taking two classes a semester, year round, and working part-time have been challenging. And then there is my church calling, and the matter of supporting my husband in his.  I still feel that I need to do everything I have always done, while adding these additional items to my schedule.  Jan Newman, who served as mission president here in our area, said it best:  “Don’t ever be too busy to accept a calling.  When you need the Lord’s help, He will know where your heart is.”  My purpose is to serve the Lord and build the kingdom of God.  Can I stay focused on that and still enter the work force?

Steve Blank said there needed to be some family rules set beforehand.   We are trying to have family scripture study every day, and that is something I am not willing to compromise on.  Having dinner together as much as possible is important too.  But as the kids get involved in various events at the high school, their time outside of class is mostly taken.  I like to spend time with the family on the weekends, but those are often filled with competitions locally and a few hours away.  So where is the balance?  We try to support each other as much as possible.  But the kids realize we can’t be to every meet and every competition or game.  I also try to do my homework and extra things while they are at school so it doesn’t take away from my family time.  As the kids get older and begin to move out and on with their lives, I want to be ready and able to find my niche.  I want to have an idea of what my strengths are so I can focus on that. 

I think this is what I am learning the most in this whole process of school.  Who I really am, what I have to offer, and being ready and willing to do what the Lord asks me to do.  For now, I was guided to participate in this educational opportunity.  I will “Carry On”, moving forward, as long as the Lord needs me to do this.

Being a mom is like being an entrepreneur…

(Taken from Jeff Sandefer’s “Are Successful Entrepreneurs Born or Made?”)

If an entrepreneur is about taking risks, and understanding there will costs and hopefully, but not always benefits, the day I became a mom was one of the biggest entrepreneurial moves I have made.  I didn’t have a lot of industry expertise.  I had seen it done before, by countless others who were successful, but I had no idea what all was involved.  I had no idea the ups and downs I would be taken through.  I had to take one day at a time.  There have been countless trial and error experiences in making and delivering products – like meals, lessons or even making clothes.  Through this process, I have created a database of knowledge that would be impossible to copy or replicate in any other way.  And I continue to grow and learn each and every day.

As a mom, I have had to use good business judgement in many different areas…scheduling, financing, chaperoning, nursing, counseling, teaching, traveling, driving, etc.  Although not trained in every discipline, I have, out of necessity, become a quick leaner.  Every day I have to make decisions, many times at the spur of the moment, taking one success and even mistake at a time.  I have a robust inventory of small lessons about human nature – at various ages and development that I can draw from and share with others. 

The bonds I have formed as I have worked with my children each and every day, from the moment they were born, have been very rewarding.  I have taught them by example to keep their promises, to act kindly, to show character especially when times are tough, to do the right thing – even if others are not, to be honest, to go the extra mile.  Each of these experiences are deposited in my “eternal family” account which will hopefully keep growing, allowing me the greatest of all rewards.  Because in the end, the real reward is who we have worked with and grown to love and serve.

The secret to being successful is knowing I must stay the course, or “Carry On” as my grandparents used to say.  Perseverance through this never-ending process, showing up day after day, month after month, year after year.  When the going gets tough, I don’t give up.  I enjoy the good and hold onto those feelings in times of trial.  Success isn’t a destination, it’s a journey taken one determined step at a time in a way that builds lifelong treasures – of which my family is the greatest.  

The Little Things are Important

(taken from a BYU Devotional address by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, Oct 26, 1986)

We are all blessed with the exact same number of minutes each day.  What we do with those minutes – how we spend them or manage them – can make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. 

We can bless ourselves if we use our minutes to take care of ourselves.  We can care for our bodies – through diet and exercise – which will give us the strength and energy we need to keep up with our daily routines as well as being able to serve others.  When we feel healthy, our spirits are stronger and we have an increased positive outlook on life, feeling better able to succeed.

When we have our lives in somewhat of an order, we are better prepared to serve others.  Little things such as simple courtesies – a smile, a compliment, a positive comment, or word of encouragement – can brighten someone else’s life.  Such a small act on our part - hardly takes any effort - yet can make a world of difference to another person. 

When we learn to be patient and longsuffering, we can better deal with others whether through work, school, church, or in our community.  These are two traits that I can definitely improve on.  Perhaps taking time to study them and see how Christ emulated these traits would better help me to acquire them. 

When we serve others, we are truly serving God (Mosiah 2:17).  “When we are engaged in the service of our fellowmen, not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective.  When we think more about others, there is less time to be concerned with ourselves…God does notice us, and He watches over us.  But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.  Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom.”  (President Spencer W. Kimball, as quoted by Elder Wirthlin)  Have I noticed someone in need?  Have I used my allotment of minutes to help someone in need? 

We all have potential.  God blessed us with the skills and talents we needed to succeed.  While some of those skills may seem little or small, through Christ, we can make those into strengths.  As we develop those strengths, we will have less of a desire to do wrong.  It will cause us to “pray more intently…be a little forgiving of our neighbor’s faults…love more and criticize less.”  We need to do all we can to make these spiritual qualities part of us. 

Every day we are blessed with little opportunities to overcome our weaknesses and “increase our spiritual strength”.  Things that seem little truly can become big things that can strengthen us and help us to become the person we are capable of becoming.  What will we do with the minutes we have been blessed with today? 

True Blue, Through and Through

taken from a BYU-I devotional by Sheri L. Dew on March 16, 2004

"True to yourself, meaning who you are as a son or daughter of God, and who you are in the process of becoming.  True to others, meaning that you do what you say you will do.  And true to God, meaning that you practice what you preach and that you are doing what you covenanted to do here in mortality."

I think integrity begins with being true to God.  If I have the desire and the understanding of who God is, and what His relationship to me is, then it shouldn't be a question of being true to God.  He knows me and loves me and wants me to be the best I can be.  He is even willing to help me if I do the things He asks of me.  Living up to that will automatically keep me true to myself and others.  Likes Sister Dew says, "Integrity is the foundational virtue upon which all other virtues are dependant."   

I think we live in a world where many people say or do things that they think we want to hear or see.  It can be hurtful to hear someone say one thing, and then turn around and tell someone else another thing.  Lack of trust can truly hurt a relationship.  And the opposite of that is being able to count on someone when they say they will do something.  I am not perfect at this, but I had a young women's leader growing up that taught us that "trying is lying", meaning that to say "you will try" is a copout.  We should either commit or not.  While I believe there is some gray areas where this is concerned, I saw her point.  By saying I will do something, I have made a commitment.  And to be true to my word, I will do it.  It may not be my best, or I may fail, but I will do it because I said I would do it.

Sister Dew gave 7 suggestions to help us become men and women of integrity:

1. Decide today, once and for all, and at all cost, that you will be worthy of trust - from family and friends, colleagues, and most importantly, the Lord.
2. Have faith that the Lord can and will help you, and then diligently seek His help - just like Nephi trusted that the Lord would instruct him in building a ship or hunting with a broken bow, he never doubted the Lord would help him. 
3. Make covenants and keep them - do what you say you will do, and being precisely and completely true to those covenants.
4. Stand up for what you believe and what you know is right - at every opportunity to do so.  True happiness comes only when you are living up to who you are.
5. Expect your integrity to be challenged - Satan won't tempt you just once.  You don't really know what you believe until your beliefs are tested.  In every trial comes a moment of truth when you must decide what you really believe.  Every time we choose to obey, our integrity is fortified.
6. Don't give up - this is a lifelong process.  Keep the commandments with exactness, seize the opportunity to repent and ask for forgiveness from the Lord and others.
7. Covenant - or perhaps I should say, renew your covenant - with our Father and His Son to do what you came here to do - that is the ultimate expression of our integrity.

It would do me well to evaluate myself on a regular basis.  She even suggests doing a trial for the next 30 days, evaluating ourselves each night to see how we did that day.  When I find areas I can improve, I can trust that the Lord will help me change.  "He has the power to make [me] better than [I] have ever been."  What an amazing blessing that is for me if I can trust the Lord, and trust myself to keep my integrity and never compromise it.

Personal Code of Conduct

I will never:

• Back down from those things I know to be true.
• Compromise my integrity.
• Cheat in my school work.

I will always:

• Conduct myself with integrity in all aspects of my life:  family, church, job, community.
• Use my talents to help build the kingdom of God.
• Strive to keep the commandments with exactness.

My Gifts

Recognizing my own gifts is something I have pondered for a while.  I don't like to pat myself on the back.  I don't like attention or praise.  But I do want to know what the Lord has blessed me with.  By knowing, I will better be able to be the person He wants and needs me to be. 

I believe that we can be blessed with multiple gifts, but we must work on what we have and continue to improve them.  Then we may be fortunate to be blessed with more.  So what do I see as my gifts?

I believe that I love to serve and sacrifice to help other people.  I think that is what being a mom is.  It is a gift that enables moms to do what they do, each and every day.  It is not something I get praised for.  It is something that I am always working on.  It is something that can bless me and my family.

Extending that beyond me and my family, I can serve others.  Whether through my callings or just being aware of what is going on around me, I can use these gifts to help others.  I believe I can assess a situation, see a need and then go to work - not always waiting to be asked.  Whether it is putting chairs away after a band concert, or washing the dishes after an activity or dinner at someone's house, or helping a young mother with small children at the store or in church.  I feel worthy and valuable if I can make a difference for someone else.

The last month I have been working twice as many hours to help out a few teachers who were left suddenly without their aide.  This has required a lot of time and energy on my part.  I quickly assessed what the teacher needed, and then jumped in.  Each and every day I am there, I work hard.  When I go home, I am exhausted.  But I always feel like I have made a difference that day.  Whether for the teacher in providing another set of hands and eyes, or for the children in being that extra set of ears to listen.  I feel a sense of fulfillment when I come home each day. 

My Grandma Priday was an excellent example of service and sacrifice.  Even into her 90's she would take a meal to a new mom, make bread for the new family that moved in, or simply held a small child so a mother could listen.  She was the ultimate servant of the Lord, always serving and doing so in a loving way.  Although she passed away 5 years ago, I still hear from people who have make the connection that she brought them dinner or visited them in a time of need.  Her influence is still felt today.  I hope that as I develop those gifts of mine, I can make a difference for someone like she did for so many.

Childhood Dreams

"A dream is a wish your heart makes" says the familiar Disney tune from Cinderella.  What is the importance of dreaming?  Does it make us hope for things that will never happen?  Or does it give us something to shoot for, to work towards? 

Randy Pausch, a Professor from Carnegie Mellon, said in his "Last Lecture", which was just weeks before his death from Pancreatic Cancer that he had no regrets.  He was happy.  He had achieved so many of his goals.  Randy realized at a young age what his dreams were, and then figured out how to make them happen.  It wasn't easy.  He had to work hard and face challenges.  But when faced with a challenge, or as he called it, a brick wall, he recognized that "brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want things.  The walls stop people who don't want it badly enough."  His parents recognized his creativity and encouraged it.  They let him be the "master of his own domain". 

Where do I want to be?  What do I want to do?  Identifying my dreams will guide me as I set goals in my life.  If I want to be a doctor, then I need to study hard.  If I want to be a vet, then I need to be comfortable around animals.  I need to set smaller checkpoints to make sure I am headed in the right direction.  Dreams can come true.  They may not be in the way we originally thought.  There is a feeling of achievement when reaching each goal, along with the sense of fulfillment and pride in having done something hard. 

The one dream I had as a little girl was to be a mom...to be married in the temple to a wonderful man and to be a great mom to wonderful children.  I had to set goals and steps along the way to make sure I stayed on track.  I had to keep myself worthy.  I had to learn how to take care of small children.  I had to learn how to cook and keep a home.  I had to have that desire to make the sacrifices that would be asked of me. 

I believe that my dream has come true, but not without my own brick walls.  And there  are still brick walls I will have to face.  My husband is wonderful and I did get married in the temple.  But we have our challenges.  And let's face it.  Being a mom is not always lollipops and rainbows.  We have our cloudy and stormy days there too.  But I must always hope for and work towards being the best mom I can be.  If I can keep my eye fixed on that, then each and every day, my dream can come true.  I can become the person I dreamed of.  

My Bucket List

Achieve ideal weight (135)

Attend Summer Olympics

Complete degree

Complete my fan chart

Create a photography portfolio

Cruise with friends

Deep sea diving

Do 3 consecutive pull-ups

Eat entire taco 12 pack in one sitting

Enjoy a holiday in a log cabin in the snow

Fly in a hot air balloon

Get par on a real golf course

Get savings account to $100,000

Help build a Habitat for Humanity home

Hold a legit plank for 2 minutes

Learn a new language

Learn archery

Learn to glass blow

Learn to knit/crochet

Learn to meditate

Learn to play chess

Learn to play the guitar/ukulele

Learn to play the violin (hymn)

Let someone know how much they mean to me

Louvre in Paris

Maintain a 4.0

Make a difference in someone's life

Make a piece of art to display in our home

Meet General Authorities (Holland, Bednar, Uchtdorf, Eyring)

Play in a flash mob

Read entire Bible

Ride a segway

Ride an elephant

Romantic dinner on a rooftop

Run a 5K in less than 30 minutes

See a pyramid

See all my kids in the temple together

Serve a mission with Bill

Solve a Rubik's Cube

Swim with dolphins

Take a photography class

Tandem skydiving

Travel to Africa

Travel to Europe

Visit Australia

Visit Machu Picchu

Volunteer abroad

Watch Survivor finale live

Whale watching

Witness a solar eclipse

Friends

"Great leaders usually have a lot of great friends, and friends are, by definition, people who lead others to higher ground while at the same time helping them enjoy the journey."   Jim Ritchie

I have really begun to think about the people I am surrounded by.  There are some that I don't have a lot of choice - for instance, co-workers, employers, and even family members.  But there are a lot of times that I can choose.  In those moments, am I surrounding myself by others who will help "lift me to higher ground while at the same time helping me enjoy the journey"?  

Am I that friend, the kind of person that helps lift others, helps them see the positive and find joy in even the small moments?  There is more joy in being around these type of people.  Sometimes I get caught up in what is not right or perfect, or a neverending list of things to do, and miss the joy of the journey.  Sometimes, I don't even want to be around myself because I get stressed out.  I don't need to have glory and recognition among my peers.  In fact, I'd rather be in the background.  But I do want to be known as an optimistic person who can help others.  

This is a life lesson that will benefit me not only professionally, but in my family, at church, and in life.  Where can I begin to make this change?